Tag Archives: Francesca

The Women of Can’t Catch a Break: Fall 2017

The summer can be a slow time for anyone looking for jobs, housing or just trying to get things done. That’s true for must of us, and doubly true for people who are dependent on multiple social service and governmental agencies with shifting personnel and rules. For many of the women, the dominant theme of the summer was waiting, waiting and waiting some more.


Ginger (see “The New Price of Freedomwas super excited last spring when her case manager at a housing agency told her she would get her into an apartment soon. In mid-summer the case-manager took Ginger she was taken to see an apartment in a community right outside Boston. She was thrilled – oohing and aahing as she described “my stove” and “my floors” in this recently renovated flat. She was waiting for it to be approved by the Housing Authority and she was sure there wouldn’t be any problems because the apartment seemed in great condition. We talked about where she would get a bed and what color sheets she wanted. She lined up my help to drive her possessions to the apartment (it turns out all that she owns — aside from a few outfits and toiletries — is a box of assorted glasses and cups she has received as Christmas presents or won at raffles at homeless programs over the years.)

And then she waited some more. Finally, the inspector came and found a leak in the basement of the building. The landlord was told he had to fix the problem before it could be approved. She waited for the repair and then she waited for the inspector to come back. Her housing advocate repeated to her that she just needs to be patient, that these things take a while.

They seem to have taken too long because in early October the landlord withdrew the offer of the apartment.

As of this writing, Ginger remains homeless, though her case-manager has promised to take her next week to see another apartment.


Isabella (see “Failure by Design: Isabella’s Experiences with Social Services“) is still in prison, waiting to find out when she will be let out. Her release date is up in the air while the system sorts out various old charges, warrants, and probation and parole violations.


Kahtia (See “Prostitution, Decriminalization and the Problem of Consent“) is still trying to regain custody of her children. It’s been two years at this point and she is beyond frustrated. In the middle of the summer I accompanied her to a long-awaited Court date.

We met in front of the Court House. Kahtia was sitting outside by herself, an hour before the scheduled Court time – she wanted to be sure not to be held up by public transportation or arrive looking disheveled. In fact, she looked lovely. She had a nice, modern haircut, was wearing beautiful make-up, had her new teeth (they look beautiful and natural), and was wearing a long flowing dress. She was very optimistic because the judge had told her that this would be it – that she would get the kids at this hearing. We joked around and made small talk and reminisced and talked about movies and news stories until it was time to go upstairs.

Outside the courtroom we sat down to wait and wait and wait. And as the hours went on Kahtia wilted.

Finally, a social worker from Kahtia’s lawyer’s office came out to show her the report DCF had filed. The report included descriptions of her visits with the children (all positive reports) and reports from her therapist and psychiatrist. And here is where it got weird. The therapist wrote that Kahtia has done well and learned to manage her emotions,  but then commented that she has failed to go for some of her urines (drug tests). The strange part is that Kahtia is not mandated to go for urines. It was her own idea and she goes voluntarily because she believes this will help her show that she should get her kids back. She missed one or two urines when she was sick. But DCF seized on that one comment from the therapist and gave it more weight than all of the positive feedback.  When Kahtia saw this document she became upset and interpreted it as further evidence that DCF has it in for her.

After another lengthy wait, the social worker returned to tell her that it’s time to go in to Court, but that she can’t bring anyone with her (she had hoped to bring me or sister with her for support) and that a new judge would be hearing the case. This was particularly devastating because Kahtia felt the judge who had been on the case since the beginning was fair and understood the issues. He was set to retire but told her he’d stay on her case until the end. At the last hearing he had berated DCF for dragging things out when Kahtia clearly was complying with all of their requests.

Kahtia was shocked by the news and furious to learn that her lawyer likely knew about the new judge a couple of hours ago but only told her as she was walking into the courtroom. We begged for a few minutes to help Kahtia calm down.

She went into the court room and came out a few minutes later. It turned out that one of the translators hadn’t arrived.

Another wait and she went in again, just for a few minutes. The case was continued for two months, at which time the lawyers will offer motions. Her lawyer will ask to increase her hours with the girls (for no known reason the hours had been cut from 2 per week to 1 per week). DCF will ask to see Kahtia’s mental health and other records for the two years preceding the opening of this case as well as a report from her domestic violence counselor. We asked why this necessitates a two month wait. We were told that all of the lawyers couldn’t find a date that worked for them any earlier.

The delay means the girls won’t start the school year in their mother’s neighborhood and likely will have to transfer schools mid-year, again.

The day that started so hopefully ended with crushing pain, again.


Melanie, one of the few women who has been employed for most of the past ten years, was let go from her job last spring because of health problems.  Earlier in the summer her mother — a woman who had held her family together even when she herself was extremely ill — passed away. “I feel the hits just keep coming, with losing my job and then my mother,” Melanie told me.


Francesca (see “The Bitch at the Welfare Office“) has been busy. During the summer and into September her time and efforts revolved around caring for her granddaughter. She and her son mostly got along well and were doing a good job of raising the child (whose mother died about a year ago.) Francesca organized pool parties, took her granddaughter shopping for school clothes, and more or less lived her long-time dream of having a house with her kids and being a Mom and homemaker.

Unfortunately, about a month ago she and her son had an argument during which “he disrespected me. He said I’m dead to him he doesn’t want me in his or [his daughter’s] life; that I’m a loser and never will get anywhere in life. That’s something his [abusive] dad would say to me when we were married.” He kicked her out of their house and threatened to throw her possessions onto the street.

Francesca handled the situation with a great deal of grace and a maturity that, she told me, she knew she didn’t have even a few years ago. She moved in with her boyfriend, continues to spend time with her granddaughter, and has started an on-line business that she conducts from her phone. The downside, and this is not new for her, is that her boyfriend lives in a fairly remote community and Francesca does not have a car. He has a car and a steady job so she is dependent on him for transportation and for financial support. In the past, this sort of power imbalance has not ended well for her.


Tonya continues to amaze me with her resilience and resourcefulness. In July everything seemed to be going wrong. “The blows are coming left and right. They cut my income. I go into panic mode at  the threat of being homeless. My mother is 70 years old and out on the street [due to a fire in her apartment].”

Tonya’s check was cut because she did not consistently make it to her required community service (required in order to get cash benefits – transitional assistance). She was supposed to go to a certain office in downtown Boston everyday, but often did not have money for transportation to get there. “It costs almost $100 a month and the trip takes an hour and a half. They cut me from $490 to $478.” I asked how she’d been able to stay on transitional assistance for so long – the usual cut-off is two years. “Because I’ve been applying and reapplying for Disability. I have pain in my body. So many forms to fill out. Susan, I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m 42 and I’m exhausted. I gained 65, 70 pounds.” She described pain in her knees, back and hands.

“The one good thing is that “my record cleared through Annie Dookhan [the state employee who tainted evidence in the state’s drug labs] but ten years of my life were ruined [because of her record]. I feel I won’t last a lot longer. My father died at 52. I’m going down the same path. Drinking, stressed, tired. I just keeping do more programs and more job training.” One recent program “told me I need to wear business clothes, but I can’t afford to even do my hair, I wear a scarf all the time. Susan, nothing has progressed since you met me. I just want to be a normal person but you can’t on welfare. They want you to be then they make it impossible. … It’s an ongoing battle. Non-stop.”

A month or so later I ran into her as she was walking her son home from day camp. (Full disclosure: I’ve known her son since the day he was born and I can say — with full scientific integrity — that he is the cutest child in the world!) She had signed up for another job skills program but missed the first day of the  because she did not have money for transportation. So she enrolled in another program that teaches people how to be an employee (how to look for a job, how to set an alarm clock, how to talk to your boss). The program is far too basic for her; in fact, she could teach it she has taken it so many times. “But I have to be in a program in order to get help for sending my son to camp. He is at the [] Camp and loves it!”

Tonya always manages to surprise me. Yesterday she sent me a photo of the broccoli she managed to grow in the little patch of dust outside her apartment. I told her that I believe the success of her broccoli plant is an omen of good things to come.

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For those of you who have come to know the women — and for those of you meeting them here for the first time — please feel free to ask questions. You can post your questions in the Comments or email them directly to me at ssered@suffolk.edu. I’ll pass along your questions to the women as best I can. They know that I write about their lives and are eager to share their thoughts and opinions with more people.

To read previous updates click on:  Early Summer 2017  January 2017   Summer 2016   New Years 2016   Summer 2015   Christmas 2014 / 2015    Fall 2014 

Check back often for more updates on the women of Can’t Catch a Break!

 

The Women of Can’t Catch a Break: New Years 2016 Update

Click here and here  and here for previous updates. Click here and here for later updates.

The last few months have brought some changes to the women of Can’t Catch a Break. Not all are of the life-changing sort, but I still marvel at the pace in which new crises arise in the women’s lives. Illness, death and disappointment in and of themselves are not extraordinary – they are the stuff of real life that all of us experience at one time or another. Rather, it’s the relentlessness. Some of the women don’t have time to catch their breath and assimilate one set of challenges and changes before the next set erupts.

Andrea is still unemployed and lonely. “I had a poor Christmas,” she told me. On the positive side, she is still securely housed in a well-located studio apartment.

 

Ashley is a gloriously happy stay-at-home Mom. I personally can vouch for the cuteness of her children. She posts daily photos of their antics and they keep me in stitches. Her husband is doing very well at work, they had a lovely Christmas, and both extended families are great sources of support and company.

 

Carly has had a busy few months. She remains fully engaged in her spiritual life – fighting Satan and trusting God — though she has not yet found a church that suits her perfectly. She quit the last church she’d been part of when the pastor “made white supremacist comments.” Having spent years living with a wonderful Black foster family, Carly will not tolerate racist comments in her presence.

Her big news is that she is pregnant! With a baby on the way she enrolled in a job training program which she graduated with a certificate that should pave the way for an entry level healthcare job. She still dreams of being a nurse in the future.

In the meantime, she remains stuck in an apartment that is saturated with mold and covered in rodent droppings. She desperately wants to move out but has not been able to find a landlord who will accept a tenant with a “voucher.” (Typically through the federal ‘Section VIII’ program, these vouchers cover rent according to a specific scale for low-income people. In tight housing markets like Massachusetts it is very difficult for voucher-holders to find apartments, even though the voucher guarantees rent; that is, the government agency pays rent directly to the landlord.) Because her living conditions trigger severe asthma, she has spent a great deal of time in the hospital.

For more on her housing struggles click here.

Elizabeth: See “Eulogy for Elizabeth, Update

Francesca is (still) a survivor. She is happy living part-time with the man she met last year. He is a stable, family man living in a semi-rural community at some distance from Boston. He works very long hours so she often comes back to Boston and stays for a few days with friends or with one of her sons. She has many close girlfriends of various ages and generations, and she enjoys being an “auntie” almost as much as she enjoys being a grandmother to her two lovely grandchildren.

She has had some serious health problems over the past months. She lost over one hundred pounds and spent a few stints in the hospital. She has been diagnosed with Crohns and Colitis, and then developed a C.difficile infection in the wake of antibiotics she was given for back-to-back kidney infections. She felt miserable with all of this, but is thrilled with her new svelte body!

Ginger moved back from Florida. She had moved there to be with a man she had met but that fell apart after a day or two. She called to tell me that, “I came to Fort Myers [and ended up] homeless. Last night I had a stomach virus. I threw up all over the bus. I had to go to the hospital. I was there all night. I’d been eating out of the trash. I have nowhere to in Florida.”

She called me from a local sheriff’s office next to the bus station. We figured out how to arrange to purchase a bus ticket for her. The next bus would leave in 12 hours and the trip would take two days. She had no money for food.

I spoke with the sheriff to see if there would be a way to help her out so that she wouldn’t risk being arrested for panhandling or soliciting sex for money. He said no. I wrote in my notes: “The irony that we’ll pay for a night sick in the hospital from eating in the trash, but we won’t pay for someone to get food.”

We spoke briefly when she returned to Boston, but since November I have not heard from her. I’ve tried every phone number and every friend and relative I can think of. I did catch a quick glimpse of her hanging out in the Boston Common with a small group of people whom I know to be homeless. It’s hard to know what to think. For many years Ginger has called me regularly at least once each week.

Isabella has had a horrid few months. She, her husband and her husband’s teenage son had been staying in the small living room of a one bedroom flat rented by a friend of hers. Both she and her husband were doing quite well on a methadone protocol that required them to come to the methadone clinic daily. In the Fall, after many months of applications, she landed a wonderful job. The new company sent her to a training seminar and she began to work in an office setting that she loved. Then, two things happened just about simultaneously. One, a more extensive background check carried out by her employer revealed her history of incarceration and she was let go. Two, her husband picked up heroin use (again), suffered what she considered a “psychotic break” that landed him in the emergency room and then the psych ward, and he destroyed all of their possessions.

Several weeks later he died of a heroin overdose.

Two weeks after that her roommate was given notice to move out; the landlord planned to empty out and renovate the apartment. She is now couch-surfing with a friend who lives in a town quite a distance from the methadone clinic that she needs to attend each morning. Isabella does not have a car.

Kahtia has been having a rough time. She still has not received her children back from state custody and she pines for them, as they do for her. After a few months in a sub-standard foster care situation they now are living with a foster family that Kahtia (who is not allowed to meet the family) believes is good to her kids based on how they are dressed and what they say when she sees them once a week in a supervised visit at the DCF office. I asked what she has to do to get them back. She said she’s already done everything she has to do — parenting classes, therapy, clean urines — and now is waiting on the next court date which is in February (two months off at the time). I asked her why the date is so far off and she said, “that’s just how it is.” Part of the problem is that she’s had at least three different DCF workers and two different DCF supervisors which “prolongs the case” (her words) because each time the new worker has to do a new assessment. She has gone to Court repeatedly and each time things are put on hold because of the new worker.

In the meantime she is struggling with serious health challenges and now needs to keep a portable oxygen tank with her wherever she goes. She has gained a great deal of weight and struggles getting up and down the stairs to her fourth floor apartment. She says it is highly unlikely that she will be able to move to another apartment on a lower floor.

The good news is that her husband is really coming through for her and the kids. He’s been working steadily and bringing all of his income home, coming to all the supervised visits, and staying by Kahtia’s side through the many medical problems and emergencies. He has sat with her in the hospital, stayed up with her at night, and done whatever he can to make her comfortable.

Melanie has long been one of the few women who has been steadily employed, securely housed, on good terms with her family, and in a stable relationship with a very decent man. I hadn’t heard from her in quite a while until she called this Fall, somewhat out of the blue. Distraught, she told me that she has an enlarged spleen. The doctors don’t know why though they have done many tests. Her concern is that her employer (a social service agency) is going to put her on short term disability which means that she’ll be paid only 70% of her salary and she knows that she can’t pay her bills on that. “If I have to go down to 70% of my salary I will get in my check $352 / every 2 weeks.” We went through her budget together dollar by dollar, and her calculation is absolutely correct. “I’ve used up all of my sick time and vacation time with going to doctors and then just being too sick to go into work.” She went on to say, “My job is the best thing. My Aunt said it’s my calling [to help people].”

Her asthma and depression are also acting up and “I am crying a lot” (my note: which is rare for her). She can’t stand on her feet or sleep on her left side. “I’m literally in pain.” The doctors offered her narcotics but she refused because she is an addict (that is how she defines herself though she has not used drugs at all in ten years.) She’s lost 16 pounds – “I can’t eat and I feel overwhelmed.” She also has gall stones in her digestive system, pain in her shoulder and a broken toe. She said the doctors do not know if these problems are related to one another.

Continuing updates will be posted so check back!